Self Doubt

I often find myself doubting my abilities, my future, my dreams, my faith, my goals, and mostly- myself.
It used to worry me a lot. All the doubt I mean. However, It really doesn't anymore. It frustrates me, yes. It irritates me, yes. Heck, it even saddens me, but doubting no longer worries me. Why?
Because let's be honest, everyone does it.
Everyone has those moments where they're doubting themselves. They doubt their talents, their decisions, each other.
These first two weeks back have been really long so far. I've been so busy and slightly stressed, which doesn't help me positive outlook!
I've been positive, don't get me wrong, it's just that It's been a little more challenging than how it normally is for me here.
Between my terrible first voice lesson on Monday, the daily reminder that everyone here is SO much more musically knowledged, and more talented than me, and the frustration behind trying to get better, but not doing so, is really starting to take it's toll.
I don't know what I want to do.
I don't know if I'll do music, I don't know if I'll work in public relations or grow up and do motivational speaking. Heck, maybe I'll even be a teacher.

For right now though, I'm going to stop planning.
I'm always the kind of person who plans. The kind of person who looks at the future, decides everything she wants, then makes 100 lists on how to get there and what is needed to achieve that.
I have more lists than anyone I know. It's a little crazy actually, who else do you know that has a College Bucket List, Summer Bucket List, 2013 Bucket List, actual Bucket List, and "Before I turn 19" Bucket list.
No one.

So here is the "plan".
No more planning. No more planning until August.
At least in terms of my future . . .

The last thing I know is that I want to be a counselor at a camp this summer. Be it in Iowa or in some other state, that's what I want to do.
It's on my bucket list to go to camp, I've never gone.
I like kids.
It'll be an adventure, and after all- you all know. . .
I've always liked an adventure.